Friday, April 14, 2006

Journey to the Roots!

Today is Vishu, and yet again – for the third consecutive year I am missing home…errr…missing Vishu.

I miss those days before 2001, when I savored each and every Vishu at our ancestral home at Cherai.

I miss the wake up call from Amma at 5 am, when she used to close my eyes with her hands and lead me to the beautiful vishu kani, (the lucky sight with coconut, grains, vegetables, money, gold, lot of lighted golden lamps and silk in the pooja room), and open my eyes to relish the beautiful sight and pray. At my side would be Amma, wearing a beautiful Kerala kasavu saree with her face glowing with all the reflections in the yellow shades - being a kid, I used to think that she was the goddess herself (Well, she is, I admit! :) ).

I miss the moments when I used to be seated on the kitchen step and observe Amma and Chitta prepare Vishu Kanji with Pananchakkara, under the vigilant management of Amoomma (Grandmom).

I miss the time when I used to open the hidden enclosure (called ‘ara’) behind the Pooja room, to take the tiny statuettes of our ‘Karanavanmaar’ (Ancestors), bathe them in fresh water and apply ‘bhasmam’ and ‘chandanam’ on them.

I miss the time when I used to feel so pompous when I used to carry the Karanavanmaar to the Kalasham Room, light the lamp there and serve the vishu kanji and sadya to them. And of course the thrill of watching the envy of my little cousin sisters through the side of my eye when I did all these, since this chore should be carried out only by male members of the family.

I miss the time when me and my cousins used to go for distributing the vishu kanji (basic motive is to extract some kaineetam) to the scattered roots of the family which are spread across the vicinity due to constraints of time and money, as it happens in an old Nair family.

I miss the sumptuous sadya that we used to devour with so much thrill, and those moments when we looked like animals who haven’t seen food for months.

I miss those times when I used to run behind Achan’s bike when he used to reach Cherai after having lunch with his parents, and the mischievious smile he used to have when he hides the hundred rupee note behind the ten rupee note while passing the kaineetam to a ‘very-disappointed’ me.

I miss the times when I used to stroll around the big parambu (land) near the house holding the hand of Achan in the night, and the wonderful discussions that we used to have about almost anything under the sky while sitting on the steps of the pond in Vadakke parambu (North Plot) and watching the evening heavens with shooting stars.

I miss those luminous days….

Now, I am staring at the computer while creating some useless report which is going to be looked at once, and then thrown into garbage. After this I will create some schedules and update the project plan. So and so it goes…. So much for this Vishu!

But hey – If I was sitting back at home without any job, would I even care about Vishu? I would have been deliriously crazy, praying to give me a job - at least in a small networking firm as far as Thumbaktoo, even as an apprentice. So is there any room for after-thoughts or regrets? No - An absolutely blind No. Still, my mind is so juvenile – it’s still wandering like mad, it’s still searching for the roots, just like Malayatoor had written!

These fluctuations, these aberrations, these minor foibles – they beleaguer me more than anything. These are the times when I feel too small, too vulnerable, too insignificant…..and too human. I want to wriggle out of this sticky plethora of consciousness and get back to a unique world. But…..I remain conscious. So do many more of us….We all will remember the trails we hiked through!

Let our madness continue; let us dwell in these obscurities –

Meanwhile, Happy Vishu to all! Enjoy the new dawn of the new year!

23 comments:

Alexis Leon said...

Very nicely written. Now we don't have time for the important things in life and spend all our energy in doing tasks that are less important. In the mad struggle to live we are forgetting to live. Happy Vishu to you too.

starry nights said...

I enjoyed reading your post,I almost felt I was there. Its nice to stop and smell the roses once in a while.

lost optimist..^!^ said...

happy vishu :) .. im already sad about leaving home. but eager to be independant.. life's like tht..alle

Chandu said...

Abhi,
You worded my feelings. Nostalgia, though painful, is beautiful.

Attribution said...

Happy Vishu Belated though!

flyaway mind said...

we take for granted certain things when we r home ,like celebrations, family gettogethers etc.. when we r away, we do realise their true worth..
beautiful reflections...

Razor said...

Mach,mazed by your line of thoughts and their clarity

Have you thought about people becoming immune to vishu,onam and all the other good things in life?

For most of the ppl its just an excuse to to drown themselves in spirits...

I hate to call myself a pessimist,but thats gonna happen in 10 yrs time

Dhanush said...

I did that after 2 years. The last time I saw Kani was in 2003. I was semi jobless that time, and when I got job, I began losing my Vishu's. One at Pune Rly Stn and another Sharda Center Ground Floor, MBT. But this time it went well, eventhough a dead thespian and his fans tried to prevent me. Thank you for providing that idea. It was that willpower of seeing the kani that made me go home suffering all the hardships. When I enjoyed a lot with my family, I was satisfied.
Nice Post da.

Alexis Leon said...

Abhi you have been tagged. For details please go to http://www.alexisleon.com/ros/2006/04/17/sliverines-tag.html

Sridhar Raman said...

Puthandu Nalvaazhthikkal. :)

Lekshmi said...

Abhi,
Very nicely written. Eventhoug, I celebrated Vishu, had 'Kani' without 'Kanikkonna'. And the transformation from the one who used to be shown 'Kani' to the one who needs to make and show 'Kani' to others is something very different.
So, Vishu for me is now 'Kani' without 'kanikkonna', 'Sadya' without 'Chakka Elissery', Kaineettam by 'ICICI smart money order'.......

pophabhi said...

First of all, a big sorry for the delay. Was home at Kochi for 5 days :) - and was out of the net world.

Alexis: Thanks! Your statement about forgetting to live in the mad struggle to live was awesome! Remembering the words that I read somewhere 'Stop Existing. Start Living".

Starry Nites: Thanks a lot. Ya - We always love it when we are back where we belong to. Its that feeling that draws us back to square one. Happy to see you here. Keep visiting.

Lost Optimist: Athe!! I also had been eager to leave home, some years back. But from the day after I left home, I have been eager to reach back there - but as an independent person. At some point both should co-exist. The difficult point is to strike the balance and recognise the WHEN! Nice to see you here :)

Chandu: Depicted short and simple, Chandu. Nice words. Thanks! Keep coming!

Attribution: Hope you too had a great time!

Flyaway Mind: Its something about all good things. We pass the time without knowing how good it was. Once they are past, we cherish them so much. Maybe they are destined to be like that. Thanks a lot for crossing trails.

Razor: Thanks da. You are right - as every year goes, we can visibly feel the difference it makes. Maybe Vishu, Onam etc is just another day in our life, talking philosophically. But philosophical or not, those are the days when you get to sit with your parents, family and get back to a life without any thoughts, any concerns - in other words, a means to relaxation...We are losing it. Soon we will lose it completely. We will be hollow and empty. Just another machine. Pessimistic or not, you are realistic.

Dhanush: Da-Was immensely happy to know that you made it home, when you messaged me next day. You deserved to enjoy every bit of it, for the pain you had taken to reach there! :)

Alexis: Will finish it as soon as possible :)

Sridhar: Chilli...Same to you machaa! Hope the new life is better lighted for you.

Leks: Thanks! Ya - Thats a part and parcel of family life - You keep changing roles, right? Kaineetam by ICICI Smart Money Order was a real funny one :)

Venkateshwar Sahai said...

Rightly said Abhi.. Its a catch 22 situation, isnt it? But then the human mind is never satisfied.. We find a way to crib. I guess thats why we have achieved so much! Two sides to everything da :).. I guess we just need to strike a balance.. Take a few days off once in a while and forget all about work.. Need to get our priorities right..

neermathalam said...

If words can wet your eyes...
You are bang on target...
Thanks for the free trip to kerala..If your elder to me...
you have given me the vishukaineetam...If are younger...
I bless you...that is my vishukaineetam...
Write more...
(I thought I can write poems...
this is prose which is a poem....)

pophabhi said...

Venkat: Striking the balance is something I have been working on. Hope that by year end I would achieve it. :)

Neermathalam: Thanks a lot, buddy! And yes - Its my kaineetam to you, as I am elder - If blogspot profiles are true. Will keep jotting. Keep coming!

Sookie said...

Happy Vishu! Am not aware of Vishu customs and you have given a nice jist of.
~Sookie

pophabhi said...

Sookie: Thanks a lot, Sookie! Welcome to my blog. Know that you visited from Venkat's blog. I will also pass by!

Ramakrishnan said...

Dear Abhi...

Thanks for taking me back to those nostalgic days...Things wud never be the same again but we gotto continue on our destined path atleast with the consolation that our childhood were the sweetest moments, we would savour for ever...

Wonderfully penned...

Aneeshji said...

really liked it man.... really missed home reading this....

Just Another Brick said...

I like your style. Descriptive and very .. 'real' is the word, I guess.. Keep up the good work.

Just Another Brick said...

ohh.. and the style reminds me of 'oru vattam koodiya puzhayude theerathu verutheyirikkuvaan moham.. oru vattam koodiya... ' :)

Ajith said...

beautifully written....

What is life without memories and nostalgia. Even though I am far from my home and busy with my work, I still find time to visualise 'vishu kani' and 'kanikkonna' on vishu day.

cheap custom essay said...

Thanks for your post. It made me remember my childhood and youth. I remembered the things I miss...